As Good As Dead
by OurLadyGrem
Summary: Whilst struggling through a bitter heartbreak, Anti-Wanda finds herself seeking refuge in the most unexpected place with one thing on her mind... to assassinate Anti-Cosmo.
1. My Name

**Title:** As Good As Dead

 **Disclaimer:** I don't own this show.

 **AN:** This story sprang from the exploration of relationships teetering on greed, manipulation, dominance, and insanity. And what's more interesting than a mad couple hell-bent on world domination? I hope you enjoy!

…

 _Whilst struggling through a bitter heartbreak, Anti-Wanda finds herself seeking refuge in the most unexpected place with one thing on her mind... to assassinate Anti-Cosmo._

Rated T for mild language and mature themes.

…

Whenever there are faint whispers in the air concerning my husband Anti-Cosmo and his atrocities, it's usually accompanied by the trembling fear and wash of pure dread that overcome the chattering crowds of gossipers, grinding the buzz of their meddlesome rumors to a screeching halt. And a painful silence soon follows.

That's exactly what attracts me to him. His reputation alone is enough to bring the most prestigious villains to a complete standstill, the authorities pray for their lives as they hope and beg they won't ever have to confront him, and it seems as though the entire world bends to their knees in a terrifying worship as he walks all over it with stride. It's the overwhelming presence he emanates with ease, the pride he takes in everything that he stands for, and that touch of madness that ignites his fiery passion for chaos and world conquest... and I knew from our first meeting... I didn't stand a chance of resisting.

I am his.

His name alone captures me. _Anti-Cosmo._ I am dragged by the ankles into his iron grip, and he holds on to my heart by force as he squeezes the very life out of me. He is like a shining beacon that exudes his brilliance for all to bask in, and foolishly I stand below him in a vain hope that I can reach up and share this light with him...

But I can't. I know I can't but I try anyway.

However, it ends all the same every time. Whenever I attempt to reach up to him, I am plunging back down to the ground of reality, and I am reminded that he is a being far beyond my comprehension. I can never obtain him, I can never contain his light for myself, as I am simply blinded by it. Then as his illuminating presence mesmerizes me into submission, I am oblivious to the fact that I will be discarded under the shadows of Anti-Cosmo's genius. Left in the dust... abandoned... and erased from existence...

The anger. It flares in my throat as I swallow my shame and disgust. I have let myself become deluded. _No more._

Anti-Cosmo's name echoes in the air, and the nervous chattering strikes up again. He is to be feared, he is to be loathed... he truly is never to be forgotten.

And as the fear subsides, there is a small voice that whispers the name of a villain that most crowds often scoff at. It is a name that is regarded lightly and, even sometimes, comically. It is a name that is regarded with little worth and next to no value. It is a name that only brings upon terror when coupled with Anti-Cosmo's. And it is a name that is far less significant in power and stature.

That name... is mine. _Anti-Wanda._

It honestly tears me up inside. Everything within my nature pulls me towards the need to cause havoc, everything I've ever known has dragged me down the path to destruction, and I have never once objected to it. In actual fact, I've fully embraced it. It's everything I've ever known in my life, and everything I have built to achieve a sense of purpose in my simple life. And everything came to ruin... the day I met Anti-Cosmo.

Stripped of my deeply-seated need to wreak chaos, I had allowed myself to step aside and welcome a higher being to take my place without a fight. I had come to accept that he was far more superior in intellect and power, and he knew how to use them to his advantage. He is this almighty symbol that embodies everything a dictator could ever dream of having, bring lesser beings to his feet with his slick words driven by his admirable and limitless ambition. Anti-Cosmo is simply the best out of all of us anti-fairies. How could I ever think of competing with him?

And so, after realizing my true place beside him, I have come to ask myself the final truth...

Am I destined to be remembered as the moronic subordinate of the dominant and all-powerful Anti-Cosmo?

Or will I be remembered for what I'm about to do?

 _Anti-Cosmo..._

"I'm going to kill you!"

…

 _Thanks for reading! This story will be short, and it will be concluded in the next chapter. So, please stick around, leave a review maybe, and I'll see you very soon...  
_

…


	2. I'm Here

…

 _Earlier..._

…

"Timmy, it's three in the morning, can't you wait until daybreak to make any more wishes?" Wanda whined with a yawn and stretched her aching her arms to the skies, "I'm still exhausted from all the wishing you made last night!"

"Where's your sense of adventure, Wanda?" Cosmo encouraged her with a bright smile and bright eyes that sparkled with anticipation, and floated energetically around her whilst his simple mind raced with fast-paced opportunities, "The night is when life is truly alive! Look at the stars, Timmy! The world is practically begging for us to seize the night!"

"Lord knows why I married a night owl..." Wanda commented sarcastically as she rubbed her eyes in a desperate attempt to keep herself awake and alert.

Timmy brought his finger to his lips with a hardened stare to quieten them down, and in an instant, both of the fairies slapped their palms over their lips and regretfully passed each other guilty looks. They had both forgotten that it was well past Timmy's bedtime, and they had dangerously lingered at the base of Timmy's tree house that had been within earshot of his parent's bedroom window. None of them wanted to know what might happen if they had accidentally alerted Timmy's parents.

"Sorry for raising your hopes, Cosmo, but I didn't wake you up on purpose for an adventure," Timmy told him in a hushed tone, and immediately Cosmo's face fell along with it, "I woke you guys up because I heard some strange noises coming from my tree house. It sounded too squeaky and high-pitched to be an animal, but I don't know if it sounded loud enough to be recognised as a human. All I'm thinking is that someone, or something, is hiding up there..."

Suddenly, Cosmo gasped in total alarm before jumping in cowardice behind Wanda's back for protection. Wanda didn't flinch at all as Cosmo peaked his head over her shoulder as he peered to his godson in fear,

"Oh no, Timmy, do you think it's aliens?!" He asked through chattering teeth.

"Cosmo, why would aliens be hiding in my tree house?" Timmy rolled his eyes before glancing up above him, "If it was someone like Mark Chang or any of those Yugopotamians, I think they'd rather be preoccupied with the garbage dump instead of a ten year old's tree house."

Wanda glanced at Cosmo with an eyebrow raised in firm agreement with Timmy's logic, and Cosmo stepped aside nervously with his head hung low.

"Well I'm not ruling out the possibility yet!" Cosmo told them both defensively as he puffed out his chest.

With a dismissive wave of her hand, Wanda cautiously approached Timmy before he took his first step on the ladder, and halted him by placing her hand softly on his shoulder. Timmy glanced over at her, and noticed Wanda's forehead glisten with nervous perspiration as she asked him through a whispered tone,

"You don't suppose Mr. Crocker would be up there, do you?"

Immediately, Timmy swallowed a hard gulp as he suddenly became a lot more disturbed at the idea of his school teacher possibly hiding in his tree house with the intent to spy on him while he slept. He shook his head as he desperately hoped that wasn't the case, and gathered up all his bravery before he turned back to Wanda with an expression that exuded determination,

"We'll just have to see when we get there!"

As Timmy slowly climbed the ladder of his tree house, he stopped suddenly as he approached the latch that had been sealed shut above his head. Cosmo and Wanda hovered closely beside him with their wands raised high in protection. Under his breath, Timmy counted down from ten to zero, before quickly swinging the latch open with a thunderous crash as all three of them jumped inside all at once. They scurried around on the wooden ground as they attempted to appear in control, even as Cosmo and Wanda had recklessly bumped into each other in the process and simultaneously knocked them both to the floor.

"Who's there? Show yourself!" Timmy shouted with the intent to sound intimidating as Cosmo and Wanda lay in a dizzy heap at his feet. Timmy sighed and fought the urge to bury his face into his hands with utter shame.

However, his eyes shot open in shock as he spotted some kind of movement on the other side of the tree house. It captured his attention in an instant. And as the only light source into the tree house was the moonlight flooding through the only wooden window beside him, Timmy noticed a stream of light spill towards the corner of the room where the movement had stopped all of a sudden.

"It is an alien!" Cosmo cried in terror as he jumped up into the air and hid behind Timmy's back. Timmy stumbled backwards as Cosmo held on to his shoulders and energetically shook him in fright, "Look at it's blue skin! It's absolutely horrifying!"

 _...horrifying?_

"I don't think that's an alien, Cosmo." Wanda interrupted him as she staggered back to her feet and calmed him down the moment she placed a comforting hand on his arm, "In fact, it looks strangely familiar..."

Then, as Cosmo and Timmy curiously watched her, Wanda took a confident step closer into the moonlight until her entire figure lit up like a shimmering indigo-tinted torch. Her wings unfolded into an incandescent light with glimmering speckles like newly-formed dew on a mossy plain. Yet her eyes were hardened and guarded, with her hand idly stretched out in front of her boys. She was benevolent and brave, but she was compassionate and intimidating.

 _She looked like an unlikely divine angel._

"You're right, Wanda..." Timmy said with a low tone as he approached her from behind, and his eyes slowly widened upon discovery, "It... it looks like... you!"

Then, out of the darkness and into the interfering moonlight spilling through the window... I emerged like an injured animal hiding in the shadows, and the moonlight felt as if it was cutting through my skin.

"Anti-Wanda?" Cosmo gasped in surprise, and quickly shuffled to Timmy's side as he cringed with utter regret at the sight of me, "Oh man, I called you horrifying... sorry... um, any chance that you can forget everything I said? You're not going to tell Anti-Cosmo, are you?"

I almost snorted with dark laughter as Cosmo inadvertently insulted me further. _Am I really cursed with hanging my reputation entirely and solely on my husband?_

"No, Cosmo, I'm not going to tell Anti-Cosmo." I told him bluntly. My eyes began to sting and swell as I attempted to wipe away the crusty tears that had dried in streams down my face. And as the last of my tears had been brushed away by my shaking fingertips, I couldn't find the strength to keep my bottom lip from trembling as my frown deepened from the thoughts of my husband running fresh through my mind, "From now on, I'm not telling Anti-Cosmo a thing... I've had it with that..."

"You've had it?" Wanda's mouth dropped open in shock as her eyebrows furrowed upwards in concern. And cautiously, she took another step towards me with her hands tightened into fists over her chest, as if she was clenching her heart, "Anti-Wanda... what's happened?"

"Or, more importantly, what are you doing hiding in my tree house?" Timmy interrupted loudly as he marched forward with an eyebrow raised and squared his eyes directly at mine, "I mean, excuse me for being a little suspicious of your motives, but I feel like I have the right to be since you and Anti-Cosmo try to either enslave or torture us every time we encounter the both of you."

"Timmy!" Wanda turned on her heels and scolded him. And, admittedly, I appreciated this. I was certainly in no mood for Timmy's biting sarcasm, and it seemed that Wanda was the only one to pick this up.

"C'mon Wanda, even you have to be a _little_ skeptical about all this." Timmy pleaded to her as he crossed his arms with impatience, "If it keeps us from becoming anti-fairy chew toys, I think a little paranoia will save us a lot of grief down the line!"

After a few seconds of staring at Timmy, only to find that Timmy had stared back at her with just as much stubbornness, Wanda quickly turned over to Cosmo lingering quietly behind them for some kind of neutral solution. Nervously, Cosmo pressed his lips together as his gaze wavered over to Timmy for a moment, and shrugged when he gave up on the will to say anything at all. Silently, he agreed with Timmy, but in his heart, he wanted to go along with Wanda's sympathetic approach.

 _Perhaps I looked more lost and hopeless than I thought I did if someone as dumb as Cosmo can see it too..._

"Alright, sweetie." Wanda finally gave into Timmy's persuasion as she slowly turned her careful gaze back to me, and her eyes grew soft as she let out a long and gradual sigh. She approached me cautiously, half of her silhouette had been hidden in darkness as the other half lit up once again, and softened her person as she resembled a celestial maternal figure.

"Anti-Wanda, I know you're a little upset right now, but we haven't exactly had a very stable or trustworthy history." She gave me a half-hearted shrug and a small smile as if she was guilty of that herself, "So, you have to understand Timmy's... I mean, our perspective about this. We'd feel a lot better if you told us why you're here in Timmy's tree house, and at this time of night no less."

I was... stunned.

 _Wanda... after all those times I've hurt you, after all those countless times I've tried to hurt Cosmo and your godchildren... you still have the patience and understanding to forgive me and reach out to me with kindness._

When they found me in Timmy's tree house, at first I was unsure whether or not to tell them anything at all. And I wondered perhaps if I had been forced to take action against these three, I would've taken this as an opportunity to prove just how terrifying I can be as an anti-fairy without my husband's support guiding me through. I would have shown my fairy counterpart and her godson my power, I would have shown Anti-Cosmo's counterpart and my husband my strength, I would have proven myself in all that I am to them all... that's if I had been provoked.

But... Wanda's warm-hearted nature had prevented me. The fate of their world's destruction had been seized by Wanda's words. And all I could do, at that moment, was kneel before her...

And cry.

…

…

…

Timmy had quickly returned to his home to check on his parents and make sure they hadn't awoken. Meanwhile, I had found myself in a position that I'd never expected to be in. I was huddled against the interior wall of Timmy's tree house, sniffing and swallowing the last of my tears as Wanda's arm captured my shoulders and held me close to her like a dear friend. Everything at that point seemed surreal and humiliating. And the moment they offered me intensive hospitality, like a blanket and cup of hot chocolate, I flat out told them to keep their distance. Their friendliness was making me sick to my stomach. My pride could only take so much.

It was like a nightmare that lingered on into a numbing limbo, and my state of uncertainly made time freeze all around me. When in reality, about half an hour of quiet sobbing and stubborn silence had passed by, and I had almost convinced them all that I was truly in hiding for reasons unknown to them at that moment, and none of this was an elaborate plan to lure them into weakness before catching them unawares.

 _Although I hadn't entirely ruled out that possibility..._

But every now and again, Wanda would remind me in that soft-spoken tone of hers,

"You can tell us anything whenever you're ready."

I may be an evil anti-fairy with cruel ambitions and twisted morals on the brink of absolute insanity, but I'm not entirely made of stone. As Wanda patiently kept me by her side, and as Cosmo quietly sat nearby with his head in his hands awaiting his turn to be useful, I felt nagging splinters of guilt-ridden stabs in my chest at the mere notion of hurting them. It was a foreign feeling that was completely unwanted, and this powerless state I had succumbed to baited me forward to finally spill the truth...

"I left him." I simply said, although my voice sounded as if it had been ripped to shreds.

Wanda almost jumped out of her skin as she finally heard me speak up through my sobs, and quickly latched on to my shoulders in a protective embrace. She locked her eyes with mine as she made it clear to me that I had her full attention.

"You left him? So, does that mean... is that what you meant earlier?" She asked me gently with a sympathetic gaze as she attempted to shake off her shock, "You've had it with Anti-Cosmo?"

For a moment, I remained silent. Even I didn't know if I truly meant that. In a way, I didn't want it to be how it sounded... but I knew there was a deeply-seated desire within me that pointed towards the truth of the matter. And maybe I thought it would've sounded more real to me if I said it aloud...

"This is it. I left my home without saying a word to him. And I won't ever be going back there. I can't risk myself going back there! I... I don't think I can stand this anymore, Wanda." I told her as I looked down at my sweaty palms, and I noticed them visibly shaking as I gritted my teeth in agony at the realisation that slowly dawned upon me, "You don't understand what it's like for me when I'm around him."

I didn't want to explain this in detail to Wanda. I don't believe that she would know or relate to my problems regarding my own relationship with my husband. I've seen how she acts around Cosmo, I've seen how she responds to him with tenderness and tolerance, and I know solely by the way she behaves that her love is gentle and kind, loving and understanding, because that is simply how she is. Her mild-mannered expressions, her carefree perspective on life, and the good-natured morals she believes in contributes to the way she loves him. And any advice she would give me would be based on her experiences in love with Cosmo. However, Wanda will most likely forget one major flaw...

 _I am the exact opposite of her._

"Anti-Wanda, I'm sure we'll understand if you just talk to us." Cosmo chipped in with an encouraging and optimistic smile, "Make us understand, then we can help you."

 _Oh, you fool. No, you can't._

It would have been too complicated to explain and make someone as soft-hearted as Cosmo and Wanda understand the darkened pits of my obsession. Because that's what it truly is. _Obsession._

In the simplest of terms, when I am with Anti-Cosmo, I lose myself. My purpose, my identity, everything that I am and know about myself becomes almost obsolete until there is only him. And wherein lies the concept of Anti-Cosmo is a faultless image. I am blinded and enthralled by everything that he stands for, everything that he is, and everything that he _will_ be. He is a powerful symbol, a relic in history, a god amongst men... a shining beacon blinking at me from the distance... tantalising and tormenting me...

And then it's the excitement that drags me along. The endorphins in my brain pulse to life when he turns to me and reveals a fanged smile that is reserved only for my eyes. The blood that runs through my veins pumps a fiery burst of elation through to my heart as it reminds me of all the passionate words he's ever told me in private. He shares himself solely to me, and in return, I give him everything that I am on a platter. His smile, his name, his reputation, every part of him carries a piece of me alongside it. He owns me. Effortlessly, he possesses me. And whether I am aware of it or not, I am far gone.

As Wanda shares her love to a gentle degree, my fixation is consumed with manic desire. Anti-Cosmo flares the nerves of my soul with a white hot rush of surging devotion to him. It can't be subdued, it can only hunger.

 _He loves me._ The part of me that yearns for him cries out.

Yes, he does love me. But what do I _gain_ from love?

 _I gain happiness._ The part of me that belongs to him begs to me as it draws me back into submission. But I won't let it succeed this time!

After all, is that happiness on my own terms? Did I ever ask for this life? Did I volunteer to become a second-rate subordinate where my happiness lies heavily and dependently on someone else?

I need to escape. I want my own life where I can stand on my own two feet and enjoy my own company. What life do I lead as an individual if I am consistently hung on an inferior peg whilst the cause of my addiction soaks up the glory I have always dreamt of?

So, I stared back at Cosmo with distant eyes. I looked right through him as my mind wandered and unintentionally shaped his silhouette into the form of my husband until he was practically there in front of me. My obsession kicked in and I could see him clearly in plain sight. I shaped the colour of his blue tinted skin, his darkened messy hair falling over his harsh eyes. Then I remembered the way he gazes at me. His piercing emerald eyes were as vacant as mine as he calculated his next plans for world domination, and his mind whirred to intelligent and ethereal heights that I could never reach. His mind was somewhere I could never dream of entering. He always looked at me, but he was never there with me. He was _never_ there with me.

 _He was never there!_

"Anti-Wanda?"

Wanda's concerned voice was muffled despite sitting a few inches away from me. Her touch was present over my shoulders but it felt as if it had melted away through my boiling skin. Her sharpened breath had quickened as she gazed over to Cosmo to share her overwhelming worry for me. She was too kind to me.

But the awakened fury inside my heart was _relentless_.

"Thank you for letting me use this tree house for a while," I told them suddenly as I shrugged Wanda's supportive arm from my shoulders, releasing the urge to depend on anyone else anymore, and spoke as if there was no trace of emotion in my voice as I turned to Wanda, "You and I... I feel like we've always withheld this special connection that no one else has. We share the same soul, after all. In a way, we are one in the same. The only difference between us is the fact that we're on completely opposite ends of a scale. I ain't ever been sure if beings with the same soul also harbour the same fate... but after what I'm about to do... I'm sure we'll both know the answer to that."

"What... do you mean?" Wanda asked me uneasily as I rose to my feet in a haunting silence, "Anti-Wanda, what are you about to do?"

Without a sound, I glanced over to Cosmo who looked just as unsteady as his wife. I fought the urge to wince, but the rage inside me didn't want to show signs of weakness. Not anymore.

"I have to go." I told them as I staggered unsteadily over to the open window. The moonlight drenched streams of glistening light over me, and it felt as if it pierced through my burning skin. Everything felt too hot, my vision clouded over as it made my surroundings tinge with crimson tints, as if the atmosphere around me had caught on fire.

"We should come with you." Wanda suggested from the sidelines as she gathered herself to her feet, and approached me from close behind. Her hand hovered towards me, as if she was about to grab a hold of me, but I flinched away immediately. I was thankful for her patience with me, so I would have felt bad if I had inadvertently hurt her just for touching me.

"No. You've done more than enough." I said distantly without looking back, and as the expression on my face became cast underneath the shadows of my hair, I spoke up as my voice became inevitably solemn, "I have to do this. And if things go badly... I'm sorry for what I'm about to do to you."

I didn't hang around to hear any kind of response from them. Within seconds, I launched myself into the air and shot into the sky without a moment to lose. I think I might have heard Wanda shout after me, but I didn't pause long enough to be certain.

I didn't want to look back. I couldn't look back. I would've seen Wanda stare back at me with confusion and worry, and that may have stopped me. I didn't want to be stopped. I _don't want_ to be stopped.

And with the weight of Cosmo's soul firm in my grasp, I was unsure whether his fate in death truly was shared with Anti-Cosmo's, but I am too consumed with rage to care.

…

...

…

 _Now..._

…

I am slicing through the night sky with the wind hitting hard against my face. It feels as if I am cutting through space as it unfolds before me. I am a seething rod of white hot fury, burning through everything in my path as I light up the sky with my blood red aura. Blood. That's all I can see, all I can hear, all I can feel running over my sizzling bones and through my veins, shooting through my racing heart and setting my clenching fists ablaze. My fingers feel a stinging sensation as I grip on to my wand with all my strength, as if they are physically anticipating my next course of action.

I ache to be free. For too long, I have struggled against my fears into independence. I have fought to strengthen my desire for destruction as I have often buckled to my knees in saturating my addiction to the man I married. I have battled to restore my confidence to outshine him in everything he manifests. I will overcome him. I _will_ overthrow him. I will do _anything_ to break the shackles binding me to him.

Because within me, there is limitless rage that has laid dormant until this very moment. There is a darkened part of me that withholds my deepest desires. There is an overwhelming thirst that runs into the very core of who I am, and what my nature craves to do. As an anti-fairy, I am a warrior born. I am a crazed beast of destruction with an uncontrollable itch for chaos. And I will get what I want, and I will dispose of anything that gets in my way.

Anti-Cosmo. My biggest obstruction. My most cherished delusion. My maddening fixation on you is slipping... breaking and crumbling away. You can't quieten it's hunger anymore. You can't subdue it's intense tenacity any longer. The shackles... they are turning to dust. And the rage within me is growing _savage_.

The blinding image of you has faded. The caged fury has been unlocked. There is nothing to restrain it anymore. And I will do as many have failed to do.

 _And I will kill you... Anti-Cosmo!_

For my freedom, for my identity, and for my _sanity!_

I burst through the swirling storm clouds that cover our dangerous world, my world, Anti-Fairy world. I am like a frightening bolt of lightening that cuts through the air with an electrifying fury that sizzles in the atmosphere. The darkened nightfall is lit up with my glowing presence, irradiating with crimson tints that lights my path towards the castle upon the hill. I can see it with unmoving eyes as I gradually approach it, as if I am stalking my prey ahead of me. Our home. The broken glass ingrained into the ground glints with red-soaked sparks of light beneath my feet as I hover over them, floating like a vengeful ghost towards the castle looming over me. And as I look up, I laugh bitterly as I read our welcome sign staring down at me, tormenting me:

 _Anti-Cosmo's_

 _Castle_

 _Welcome – Not!_

My name isn't there, it's been cast aside as a second thought. Even if there wasn't any broken glass integrated into the arched bridge that I am hovering over, and if there wasn't any barbed wire surrounding the exterior, the sign alone would have made the entrance of my home too painful to walk into. Nevertheless, I float inside the open entrance, with my fingers twitching over my wand that buzzed to life with insurmountable dangerous power within my grip.

The castle is silent, eerie, and motionless with no signs of activity. It's incredibly juxtaposed with the raging fury growling in the pit of my stomach. And as I hesitate in the hallways of my home, my head hangs low as my fingers trail a line over the cold bricks that make up the tall walls of the interior. The icy temperature stabs at my skin, and pleasantly reminds me that I am alive. For the first time, I feel like I am awake. Something had unfurled from in front of my eyes as if they are finally open wide, and my vision is clearer than I had ever known it be. It is pleasant, it is liberating, and I know from these short moments there is no going back for me now. Nothing in this world exists that can subdue me. _Nothing!_

The cracks in the walls guide my fingertips along the icy bricks, drawing me idly further and further into the interior. I walk with unsteady steps with uneven intervals between each one, like a child learning how to walk for the first time. Until my fingers are immediately stopped, and suddenly obstructed.

I wince for a moment as my head quickly snaps up. The anger within me flares to my teeth as I grind them relentlessly with fury, and I feel nothing but resentment towards this abrupt interruption.

But I find my eyes wandering to a picture frame hanging from the wall. And all traces of colour drain from my face.

At that moment, I stare at this insignificant object with widened eyes as it draws my entire attention to it. Because within it, lies a picture of Anti-Cosmo and myself. My breathing stops simultaneously alongside the freezing world I am standing in. My entire body is cemented to the ground. My mouth hangs open as if I am gasping for air.

It is a photo of our graduation day from Anti-Fairy academy.

Without realising it, my foot heavily steps forward as my fingers trace the widened smile on my face next to his. I remember exactly how I had laughed the second that photo had taken, and that laughter is ringing like obnoxious ghosts in my ears. I can hear the laughter chiming like the drill of a chainsaw wracking into my brain. Then the nostalgic happiness I had felt that day hits me like a bulldozer, and I shiver with repulsion.

 _No! I can't take this!_

My finger desperately wanders away for a distraction, only to accidentally fall upon his hands. His careful hands I had become so accustomed to throughout these years, scarred with moments we've shared and the failures we've endured, like maps of our memories. One is curled protectively around my waist. My hair is thrown forward from the fierce winds of the harsh weather, and his accentuated fingers laces through my blue curls as he pushes them back to purposely see my smile. He tips me backwards against him as he leans closer to my grinning face, and his lingering eyes rests on mine... emanating his joy... and his love...

 _I look happy... we look so happy together... it was an important day, and I spent it with him... because... because..._

I can feel my heart waver. For a terrifying moment. It strikes at my resolve as my heart sinks down to my turning stomach that threatens me to gag, and I feel my throat clench as I struggle to breathe.

 _Oh... God, what am I doing?_

My hand cradles the picture frame as if it is fragile within my grasp, and as if it is the most precious thing in the world to me. And I can't feel my resentment any longer. The silent anger resembles something like the eerie stillness of a branch after a bird has leapt from it and it shudders violently to a screeching halt. The world falls deaf around me, and I can't hear the singing rage within me anymore. And the love in my husband's eyes blur my vision once again.

 _Anti-Cosmo... I..._

…

…

...

No... no, _no! No!_

Not anymore. _Not again!_

 _I can't let this happen again! I can't!_

My head snaps up as if I am instantly pulled away from a trance. My throat sharply inhales a large breath of air as if my head had only just surfaced from deep waters. And quickly, I swipe my wand over the picture frame and knock it off out of my grasp as if it had burnt my skin. My widened horror-stricken eyes follow it as it is thrown across the hallway. Then the glass smashes against the ground, and the picture lays in a broken mess as a painful silence soon pursues it.

I can't take my eyes off of it. The picture within the frame is torn and crumpled, and distorted from my memories. The broken glass surrounding it accentuate and disfigure the photo as if it finally reveals the true ugly colours from beneath it. And I feel shaken. The pull of my obsession had taken a strong hold on me and the after effects has left me unnerved and unsteady on my feet. And it follows up with an urge to suddenly question myself.

 _Is what I'm doing right? Am I truly seeing things clearly? What should I believe anymore?_

The uncertainty leaves me feeling unhinged. It's as if I had been forcedly split into two pieces, where one half of me believes in my hatred and my fury towards what I've become, and the other... the other half of me is a frightened child. She cries like a baby with her arms open wide, giving herself entirely to the man I married. She yearns for the happiness that he brings, she feels unending comfort in the love that she receives, and she wants for nothing else until she is saturated in the attention she seeks from him.

It makes the other half of me _sick_.

Suddenly, I turn on my heels and pounce into the air, and my wings buzz excitedly as I am speeding down the hallways of my castle. The tug of war between the two halves of me has ended. And my resolve is back again. The sickness is too much for me to bare, and the fury returns in full force. It howls at how weak I am, it drags me back to my reality as it carries me back kicking and screaming from the depths of my obsession. How careless I am... how easy it is for me to become lost in the inviting waters of my fixation... _no, no more..._

I am speeding down the darkened hallways with my piercing eyes focused on my path ahead of me. This castle is like a labyrinth that plays dirty tricks with my mind, and I don't dare to look beside me in fear of anymore distractions that will lead me down an alternative path. It's difficult, as the further I go down the halls, the higher the walls will stretch upwards and litter larger unkempt picture frames that urge me to turn my head. I run faster and the photos blur into a moving picture, like a movie reel displaying my most precious memories looming overhead of me, begging and pleading for me to turn back, to stop what I'm doing, to remember what I had before my fury lead me to this.

 _Memories. All I have left are memories. Reminders from a long timeline displaying the years I've wasted on the sidelines... spent living a life with him... in a blissful paradise... highlighting the happiest days of my life with you, Anti-Cosmo..._

Perspiration builds over my forehead, flying off my temples as I shoot madly down the hallways like a burst of an uneven lightening through the mist of a thunder cloud. I am battling through my unsteady thoughts and my flaring anxieties. These thoughts echo in my mind and torment me into near submission. It takes all that I have within me to thrust myself forward, to keep bounding down the path ahead of me with no turning back. I can't turn back now. I'm so close! I can't turn back now! _I can't turn back now!_

The nerves are building as I spot a small distinctive light source seeping down the path ahead of me. The cold bricks in the walls light up like the sun peaking through ice, sparking them to life and brightening up their icy blue tones. I wince with hesitation, and I swallow the hardest gulp of my life.

I'm close to him now. The doorway to his studio is a bright tunnel of light that seems too daunting to even approach. My heart stops beating. The rush of my blood halts under my skin. There isn't a sound in the universe as the bright light glares at me, blinking in the distance... like a shining beacon...

I stop. I reach up towards it. My fingertips caress the air as if the speck of light can be cradled in my grasp, and my trembling hands clench into exhausted balls of fists at the slow realisation that I am being too foolish. I could never hold on to that light he emanates. I could never know what it's like to reach the same level of tenacious ambition and genius that he possesses. I could never be the one to stand beside him, to overthrow him, to seize and cripple the world in the way that he has. I could never be the symbol he represents. I could never... I'm a fool to even try.

I stare at the tunnel ahead of me. It must be a few feet away, but it looks like a thousand miles away from where I stand. I can't do this, it's a battle I've already lost. I lost it a long time ago when I said 'I do'. It's hopeless. I'm pathetic. I can't do this.

I can't...

...

 _But..._

 _I can't live like this anymore!_

 _I can't take living in the shadows as he basks in the glory, as he indulges in the good fortunate of his genius, and as he relishes in everything I've ever wanted! I can't go on with this life as long as I am standing on the outside like a lovesick fool! I refuse to take that position any longer! I refuse to be a scared child anymore! I refuse! Anti-Cosmo, I refuse to let you take over my life anymore! This is it! This is the end! I've had it! I'm sick of it! I'm here! Anti-Cosmo, I'm here!_

 _Are you listening? I'm here! Wanda, I'm here! Cosmo, I'm here! Can the entire world hear me? Can the entire universe hear my name now? Are you scared of me now? Can you feel the terrifying wrath running through my veins, and the thirst for destruction deeply-seated in my bones? This is the beginning! There will be no end! Everything has changed! Everything will change! I am your ruler now! I am the one that bends the entire galaxy to their knees, I am the one striking fear into your weak hearts, I am the one... who is here!_

 _I am Anti-Wanda, and I'm here!_

I burst into the light. Through my crimson tinted vision, I make out the blur of my sizzling wand that hisses with a dangerous current of dark magic built up from the deep pits of my flaring anger. The studio materialises in front of my eyes as the blinding light slowly fades. I position my hardened feet far apart with my arms locked tight as if I am holding my wand like a gun, with my itchy finger hovering over the trigger.

With two hands, shaking with insurmountable anticipation, I point the wand towards the front of the studio. I know he's there. He's always there. He's always leaning over his desk, he's always scribbling illegible notes on plans for world domination. He's always calculating... he's always scheming his next attack... he's always absent... he's always occupied... he's always ignoring me! He's never there with me! He's never there! _He's never there!_

 _I am here, Anti-Cosmo! I can be just as powerful as you! I can overthrow you! I can be ten times more terrifying than you! I can change the world in a way that you couldn't possibly imagine! If you could only look over here and see that! I can help you in conquest, I can share that blinding light with you! Look over here, Anti-Cosmo! Look over here!_

I can make him out from the distance. I can see his hat leaning slightly askew off of his messy hair, sticking to the perspiration down his temples as strands of hair fall over the side of his face. I can see his skillful scarred hands skimming over pages and pages of his genius down on paper. I can see him looking down at the work he's created, his slow movements are evidence of a long day of hard work, and I can see him finally rising from off of his desk chair. I can see all of him now...

 _And I'm going to kill you, Anti-Cosmo! For everything you've done to me! For everything that you've turned me into! It's a farce! It's a lie! Everything we've ever had is a toxic mess! This is the end! This is it! Nothing else matters! I'm here, so look at me now, look in my eyes... I'm going to..._

He turns his head over towards me. His bright emerald eyes light up in surprise.

 _I'm going to..._

His beautiful eyes soften with affection as he gazes towards me. And his lips widen into a lighthearted smile with a fatigued sigh.

 _I'm... I..._

"Anti-Wanda, just in time! I've finally finished up with my work for the day. Sorry, I took longer than I expected. Why do you look so upset, love? ...ah, I remember now. Listen, I'm really sorry that I cancelled our plans to spend the day together, but I had a really good idea that I _had_ to expand upon! I need your help to complete it though. You're my shining beacon of inspiration, after all. I can't do this without you. I'll tell you all about it, now you're here."

...

 _I... I love him._

…

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 _End_


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